Hidden Shame as a Cause of Violence

Recall that when Gilligan asked about the killers' motives, a typical response was "He dissed (disrespected) me. What did you expect me to do?" A different expectation would be negotiation¬, talking first rather than violence first. An answer like this might work: "Before we get real mad, let's try talking about it." Talk might be the road to getting an apology for an insult, which could be the road for reducing shame, or at lease ceasing to hide it completely.

It is clear that before most wars, even vast ones, there was little or no negotiation. As a nation, France felt humiliated by the loss of theFranco-Prussian War in 1871, and the terms of settlement the Germans imposed. However, during the forty-three years before World War I, they made no attempt to meet with the German government to negotiate about the terms. One of Hitler's greatest appeals to the German people was that he would see that the settlement of WWI would be destroyed, which was taken as humiliating. There was virtually no attempt to change the terms during the twenty-one years before the outbreak of WWII. These nations fought first, rather than last. Read more.................